The J.R.S #2 - The Window Seat, Breakfast Potatoes, & Pendleton Blankets
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! As we gorge ourselves on turkey, stuffing, and other family favorites, it's worth taking a moment to really think about what you're thankful for. I'm incredibly thankful for the support and kind words last week's edition received. The reviews this week are related to Thanksgiving topics: travel, taters, and throws. So sit back and gorge yourself on my words on this glorious day of feasting.
The Window Seat on a Plane
"The only thing separating you from the clouds is a tiny porthole of not death"
I have a weird relationship with flying. I used to love it, but then again I think we all used to have much more positive associations with flying before 9/11. When you could walk around, talk to the Captain, and flying felt like a real adventure! As a child, I proudly wore my American Airline wings to school for days after I had landed safely.
My feelings toward flying changed after I (stupidly) ate a potent pot brownie before stepping on a three-hour flight from LAX to San Antonio. I was very, very high. Uncomfortably so, in the way that only pot brownies can achieve. Coupled with that, there was a very large man sitting next to me, so large in fact he had acquired two seats. That's fine - whatever you need to do be the most comfortable, I support.
What my cannabis-addled brain couldn't really support was the hour and a half of unrelenting turbulence. I used to enjoy turbulence as much as the next guy - it's an expensive, yet thrilling roller coaster ride. This time though, it was different. The marijuana convinced me that we were going down, so I started planning survival plans.
When the wing inevitably tore off and we all got sucked out into the great blue sky, my plan was to jump on the back of my large companion and ride him all the way down. That way (tragically) he would absorb the deadly meeting between sky and ground, and I would bounce off and walk away unharmed.
The plane did not go down, but upon safely landing, my flying bubble was popped. I'm better now, but there was a stretch where I had to get pretty loaded to step on a plane.
Which brings me to the optimal and best seat on an airplane. That being first class next to a window. However, if you can't afford first class, and have to choose between window and aisle, always go window. There's more of an opportunity for you to nuzzle against the bulkhead, the views are better, and unless you have to get up and go to the bathroom constantly, you have the chance of sleeping more.
A good window seat does take planning though, much more than an aisle seat. When you sit down, you should have all the travel essentials you need for the next few hours. Similar to the unspoken rule about the middle seat getting two armrests, it's a major faux pas to get up more than twice and jostle by the aisle seat if you're in the window. A more isolated position is the price I gladly pay every time I choose an A or F seat.
Don't fly on pot brownies, and always pick the window.
Flying high (while sober) in the window seat - 4 out 5 stars.
Breakfast Potatoes
"Like hash browns, only worse"
"I'm a meat and potatoes guy"
You know who said stuff like that? Your grandfather, when he was building skyscrapers in NYC in the 20s, sitting on large steel girders with his pals and drinking in speakeasies.
Also, what does that even mean - technically a hamburger and fries is meat and potatoes. What I'm really trying to say is that breakfast potatoes are stupid. Potatoes are not stupid, but there is a time and place for them (Like today, for example. Lord help you if your family doesn't eat mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving). The only acceptable way to eat potatoes in a breakfast setting is in hashbrown form when they are used as a vehicle to mix with salt, eggs, and assorted sauces.
Other than that, whole potatoes in the morning should only be reserved as ammo for dawn potato gun battles. Somehow, Lunch has dodged potatoes almost completely, except in potato salad, which is barely a salad. Even for dinner, people at least bake potatoes and then slather them in cream cheese, bacon, and chives to make them palatable.
Breakfast potatoes have seen a rise in menus in the last decade, and it's time that we collectively as a society say no more. Stop serving us large chunks of poh-tae-toes that are covered in seasoning salt and then pawned off as a suitable replacement to hash browns. If we don't take a stand here, then what's next - croissants completely taking over bagels as the bread for breakfast sandwiches? That's not the kind of world I want to live in.
So next time you've decided to start your house fund by skipping avocado toast and get a healthy breakfast plate at brunch, make sure your eggs with frisse and specialty bacon doesn't come with a side of Satan's starch droppings.
Breakfast Potatoes -1 out of 5 Stars
Pendleton Blankets
"If trees could wear blankets, they would wear Pendleton's"
Almost two years ago, blankets became much more prominent in my life. I started dating my girlfriend, and I was quickly educated on the wide variety of blankets that I had been missing out on in my day-to-day activities.
Up until this coziness awakening, I had really categorized blankets into options. Blankets that are beds, and blankets that are not in beds. This was an incorrect life assumption about blankets.
As our relationship progressed, I learned all about the various types of blankets, the perfect setting for them, and their appropriate use. There were beach blankets, blankets to have in your car, blankets that you don't actually use but they look nice, blankets that you snuggle in but can't let other people see you in them, and the list goes on and on.
There was one blanket that stood out among the rest. At the end of the bed rested a colorful and heavy blanket, which I quickly learned was a "Pendleton". Not a style per say, but a brand. Pendleton blankets have created their own style now, but all the imitators have certain shared characteristics.
Pendleton's are heavy, itchy, and most of all, warm. They usually possess earth and autumn color tones, and their designs are focused on desert or mountain lines. Similar to old school Baja blankets, but with a little more class.
We rarely actually used the blanket at the end of the bed, but it looked nice, and we kicked it off every night, and then I made it in the morning. There is something comforting about having an extra comforter just a kick away if suddenly a chill comes into the bedroom.
I went so far as to talk about Pendleton's with my father, and to literally no one's surprise, not only did he have a Pendleton, but it had his name embossed on it, and of course I had to have it.
So now we have two large, itchy, and warm blankets that rarely get used, but are incredibly expensive, in our tiny cottage in Venice Beach - a location that rarely gets below 58 degrees in the darkest of winter.
When it does get below 50 though, you better believe we'll both be snug in our matching Pendletons, ideally drinking hot toddies and trying not to be too itchy.
Pendleton Blankets - 3 out of 5 Stars.
Like a turkey that's been cooking for four hours, this J.R.S. is DONE. Happy Thanksgiving! Feel free to drop me a line at JRSdiaries@gmail.com and let me know your thoughts, opinions, or favorite salsa recipes. Like most wedding DJ's, I do take requests. Also, if you like what you read, tell your friends!
Love you, miss you!
Joey