The J.R.S #1 - Ping Pong, Therapy, & Topo Chico
"Self Indulgent"
"Who is this schmuck?"
"How did this get in my inbox?"
These are all quotes that I imagine will be said about The J.R.S. Which is fair because the entire purpose of this project is for me (Joey) to review stuff. Hence J.R.S - Joey Reviews Stuff.
I like writing, and recently, I haven't done it for myself. A friend asked me about my hobbies, and I had a hard time coming up with real answers (besides getting shredded and hanging out with my bros of course). This led to a personal challenge to see if I could start a weekly newsletter. Half motivation, half amusement.
So here it is - my promise to my zero 52 readers. I will knock this bad boy out for a year, and I'll try to make it go out once a week on Thursdays. Why Thursdays? I read somewhere that it's good for open rates - I dunno.
I'll use a simple five-star rating system, and I'll always try to see the positive in things. I'm not here to tear people down. However, I will gladly poop on inanimate objects, events, or other things. Also, if anyone ever does offer me money for favorable reviews, I'll probably take it.
Ping Pong
"Tennis for Babies"
Ping pong is an activity, that unlike hopscotch or the jungle gym, didn't really age out after childhood. Those other things became childish, but ping pong mysteriously doesn't have the same aura.
I think it's because ping pong has a higher cost of entry, mostly due to the space of the table, which in turn symbolizes a weird sense of class. Sure you could probably get a ping pong table off Craigslist for 20 bucks, but to even enjoy this air quotes sport, you need a room of good size that has nothing seriously breakable in it. Similar to going over to a friends house who had a pool table, ping pong takes up a whole room, or at least a section of it. There is a singular purpose for the garage or playroom, and that is to play ping pong.
It's also become this weird differentiation mechanism workspaces build their brand upon - nevermind the low pay and long hours, this is a cool office because we have ping-pong! High-five fellow kids!
The actual mechanics of the game I could never quite grasp, but I also never felt any need to truly invest in ping pong skills. Early in life, I asked the tough questions about ping pong - does this add joy or help me get ahead? Nope? Then feel free to dominate with your weird backspin serve. I'll be over here practicing card tricks.
Ping Pong - 2 out of 5 Stars
Calling a Counseling Center
"Press 7 For Confidence"
Therapy is a concept that I'm no stranger to - when I was prescribed Ritalin in fourth grade, I started acting out. Looking back, it was a combination of rebellion, and also my young mind trying to make sense of suddenly blocked serotonin or whatever else was happening in those little pills.
I stopped after two years, but most of the therapy involved me playing Uno with a friendly doctor. I don't remember what the cause was (I'm sure my parents do), but I went back to therapy in high school, once again to be enrolled for about two years. Uno was replaced with Chess, and I had a new doctor, Dr. Michaelson, a kindly bald man with a soft voice who never had the lights fully bright in his office. These sessions were peppered with addressing my communication issues, and I think therapy ended on a high note - sort of "well you don't need to come here anymore".
Since then, I haven't actively sought out any professional treatment, but it's always been talked about openly among my friends. Less so in college, but I would say in the last five years, therapy has become more and more destigmatized. Therapy is simply regarded as a great thing, and that everyone should do it.
So, I'm going back to therapy. But this time as an adult, and this time because I have a laundry list of personal things I want to work on and improve - confidence, jealousy, taking feedback, and depression, to name a few.
Calling a therapy center is a weird type of nervousness and one that I didn't handle super well. I've learned that I'm bizarre on the phone when I'm nervous - one time I had to call 911 and I started the conversation asking the call center worker how their day was going.
Similarly, when I began each conversation with the various counseling centers, I called with false cheer and polite conversation. Upon pickup, I immediately asked the receptionist how they were, and then they asked me the same question. I (awkwardly) responded fine - then had to quickly tell them that in fact, I wasn't fine and that I desperately needed help.
Once I had settled on going to therapy, I became a bit...manic about it. When I missed my phone interview to set up therapy, I called the counseling center around 12 times in three days, hoping to make up the call.
When I finally did have the call, I was much more open about myself then I was expecting initially. Within five minutes of conversation, I found myself telling a stranger about my anxieties, nervous tics, and issues, but prefacing it with the comment that it "they weren't that serious".
Good God, I thought - I bet this person thinks I'm crazy.
Calling a Counselling Center - 3 out of 5 stars.
Topo Chico
"Doesn't pair well with Chiclets"
I'm a mineral water hipster. Long before LaCroix became the rage I was obsessed with finding the perfect combination of taste, bubbles, and drinkability.
If you ever found me in Europe, you KNOW I wouldn't be ordering still water. No sir, gimme all that agua con gas.
Topo Chico, which is now locally available in most WholeFood 365's in Los Angeles, was a passion of mine that I discovered early in my 20's. I went to school in Texas, and like most things in Texas, all the cool things are from Mexico.
Topo Chico is no different - I was introduced to it on a hot day on the back porch of a friends house in Austin. The clear glass bottle with a yellow emblem of a young woman filling water from a stream barely registered with my sweaty brain.
However, when it's almost 100 degrees outside, with a humidity level that only Texas can produce, there's nothing more refreshing than an ice-cold Topo Chico. Take a quaff for yourself, and you'll be converted.
To some, the number of bubbles can be off-putting, eliciting a burp from even the sturdiest of stomachs. Beyond effervescence, Topo's have an ease of drinkability that I have yet to see matched. You rarely have to come up for air when swigging, unlike more harsher mineral waters like Pellegrino's.
My obsession knows no cost. Once in 2011, I paid $50 to ship a 12 pack from Mexico to my house, but it got destroyed in delivery. For my birthday last year, my girlfriend woke me up with a house decorated with balloons and Topos. Now that they're easily accessible, no visit to 365 is complete without at least a stack of 24 Topos (also have you tried the grapefruit flavor? Divine).
There are many contenders, but at the top of the mineral water pyramid there can only be one, and that shining light upon a hill is named Topo.
5 out of 5 Stars
Welp, that's it for the first edition of The J.R.S. Feel free to drop me a line at JRSdiaries@gmail.com and let me know your thoughts, opinions, or review requests. Like most wedding DJ's, I do take requests. Also, if you like what you read, tell your friends!
Love you, miss you!
Joey