THE SHUCK STOPS HERE
YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO JOEY’S 40TH BDAY OYSTER FESTIVAL. ALSO WE’RE MOVING.
In 2015, I threw an Oyster Party at Christian and Meredith’s house in Echo Park to celebrate turning 30. It involved me driving into DTLA at 6AM, buying all the fresh oysters they had that day, and then inviting friends to drink white wine and learn how to shuck oysters themselves. Surprisingly, no one stabbed themselves. I gave a speech. On the roof.
In 2016, I did it again.
Then in 2017, I received a series of emails from a mysterious company in the South China sea, looking to partner me with as an Oyster Influencer for my upcoming “Oyster Festival”. What followed was an exchange of 40+ emails, signed contracts, a photo shoot, and more. Three months, later I learned it was an elaborate April Fools prank coordinated primarily by Jamie, Kandace, and my new GF (and now wife), Kate.
It was revealed that almost EVERYONE I knew was in on the grift. I believe there were escalating stakes including:
Getting me to wrap my car
Buying a billboard in Malaysia
Sending me to Malaysia
ABANDONING ME IN MALAYSIA
and more.
We threw the first official celebration of the Labuan Seafood Company in 2017, and it was an absolute banger. I gave a bad speech about boots, we ate King Crab, and merriment was had by all.
Then things went quiet. Until now.
I turn 40 this year. Woah. To celebrate, we’re bringing back the Oyster Festival. One day only. Also, if you haven’t heard, we’re moving to San Francisco for a bit. So come be merry, eat some raw seafood, catch up with old friends, make some new ones, and listen to another shitty speech by yours truly.
DATE: Sunday, november 15th, 2PM to ??
ATTIRE: YACHT ROCK + SEAFOOD THEMED CLOTHING ENCOURAGED
LOCATION: TBD (SOMEWHERE IN LA)
CHILDREN ALLOWED: STILL WORKING ON DECIDING
FOOD PROVIDED: OYSTERS. WINE. WATER. OTHER STUFF. BY
THE GOAL: TO HAVE A FUN HOUSE PARTY AND REMEMBER LIFE PRE-COVID.